Marco Pierre White Steakhouse and Grill - Andre's Review

I have made full use of the new midnight ruling on blog entries and this time intend to avoid any shooters in the aftermath. Others have not been so fortunate it would seem unless there are some entries into the blog in the next hour or so. Maybe Darroll is spending a bit longer this time on the review.

November came and went without the opportunity to show off the hairy upper lip which was not a bad thing. The less the public had to see of the ginger ninja the better. A little more banter on the airwaves showed that the boys were gagging for some steak.

Not content with being picked up by multiple women in Angel, Gary decided to show that he has appeal across the spectrum when a fellow (male) patron of the chosen pub decided to make a move. I won’t elaborate too much more and repeat what’s already been stated in Binder’s review but let’s just say that wasn’t the kind of meat Gary was gagging for (we hope) – Gary, you’re definitely sharing with Keith on the ski trip. I don’t know if it was being hit on or we were actually late but we got rushed out of there fairly swiftly and bundled into a cab.

A short ride later and we pulled up outside another Marco Pierre White establishment which until I looked at the website a few minutes ago I thought was called Lanes but seems to be Marco Pierre White Steakhouse and Grill. Not that it makes too much difference.


Venue – 7
The restaurant would have been well situated in the city 2 years ago when bankers still had some cash to flash. Now, even those that can still do it are wary that some protester will chain themselves to the table leg before happily heading back to the (zero) interest-only-mortgage-apartment in Camden. The place is well furnished and tries to justify the prices with the décor. Our table was better suited to 4 people so we could have done with something a little bigger and not to mention further away from the drafty doorway.

Menu – 6.5
This is probably the smallest selection of steaks that I have seen on a Steak Club restaurant menu but on the up side all steaks were available. I didn’t look much further than the steaks but the Marco Pierre White triple fried chips were once again on the menu and once again worth the effort of frying three times.

Waitress – 5
One of our waitress’ names was Laura/Lara I believe and as for the other one we still don’t know as she refused to divulge that information to Gary. Another Steak Club first – getting bat from the waitress – and that was just asking her name. Other than that the waitresses didn’t add too much to the evening but then we didn’t quiz them on the meat so maybe they had more to offer but no opportunity. I don’t know if I should add or deduct points for getting my steak and Gary’s steak mixed up as it turned out for the better for me.

Steak – 7.5
It didn’t take me long to make my steak selection and went with the 16oz t-bone. I know we give each other flack about ordering fillets but ordering a t-bone generally flies under the radar on that count. Between us there were 2 t-bones and 3 rib eyes if I remember correctly. As noted above I ended up being given Gary’s rare t-bone and Gary got my medium rare t-bone. Neither of us said too much apart from me thinking it was a little underdone for medium rare and Gary thinking that they had murdered his meal. It was only when we swapped a piece of the steaks that it was confirmed by which time there was no point in swapping the remains. I scored because the rare t-bone was superb and better than the medium rare one. The sirloin was really good and the fillet tastier than expected. The fillet was generally a great texture but slightly ruined with a sinuous strand running through half of it. After tasting both a medium and medium rare piece of the rib eye I can conclude that the sirloin part of the t-bone was the pick of the evening for me and worth returning for – if you have the cash to flash.

Wine – 7
Glen Carloe got us off to a good start with a lovely Pinot Noir that had a great nose (let’s wait for the abuse) and taste to match. The standard issue malbec came out with the meat and the reason it has become standard is because it never fails to please, the Meg Ryan of red wines.

Value – 5
Oddly enough the bill came to exactly the same as the Constancia bill a few weeks before. The only difference here was that we didn’t have any shooters and Dom Pedros added to the mix at Lanes. That and anywhere that charges £30 for a steak makes it quite steep. But you get what you pay for and I did have a very good steak, but does this make it good value? Hmm, don’t think so.

Other – dodgy smelling pub in Liverpool Street (not going to grace with a rating)
After so conscientiously getting my review in early-ish previously I thought I could gratefully watch the shooters from the sideline. But no, it was not to be and 3 shooters (including a Russian roulette selection) later I was wondering what had just happened and why I had agreed to the madness considering I was about to head home for an ‘early’ evening! So, no newspaper fights on the way back. In fact there wasn’t even much conversation on the way back as Binder’s pace off the mark let him down and didn’t even make it onto the same train. I could of sworn he was behind me but alas no. Work on fast twitch muscle fibres Binder.

Would I go again? Yes
Would I recommend it to a friend? Yes
Would I take the Steak Club there knowing what I know now? For sure

Steak – 8 * 5 = 40
Venue – 7
Menu – 6.5
Waitress – 5
Wine – 7
Value – 5

Total – 70.5

Marco Pierre White Steakhouse and Grill

So on a freezing cold December evening Gazza has us meet in a pub so tiny we have to stand outside to drink our beers. His discreet plan almost went unnoticed, until some guy walked up to Gary and squeezed his ass! This gent then tried to hold gazza’s hand, but knowing that we were all watching, gazza shyly drew his hand away and chuckled nervously.

We had all been expecting him to take us back to Angel where you can still hear the women singing his name on quiet Friday nights, but tonight, gazza was taking us down some darkish side alleys in the square mile. I quickly finished my Guinness while gazza and Wassi downed their pints and Andre breathed a sigh of relief that movember was over.

 

Marco Pierre White S&G was the venue for the night, slipping down some stairs the Maitre D’ whisked our coats, bags and scarves away and showed us to the coolest table in the venue...actually, thats the coldest table in the venue...right next to the front door. The venue was nice! A welcome change from Kings Road S&G (owned by the same people). Pleasant lighting created a sophisticated yet warm ambience, however they do seem to be trying to squeeze the tables in, with my back right up against the table behind me, and the punters at the bar almost reading my menu with me.

 

Now about the menu...I’m not sure who is in charge of handing out ‘Steakhouse’ titles, but 4 steaks doesn’t really make this venue a steak house. The Spur has more steaks on offer, so does the cattle grid, anyway, we had a simple choice to make. Turn the menu over and you find an A3 sized photo of the main man himself holding one big meat cleaver....I’m sure this space could’ve been used to advertise a few more steak cuts, but a picture of mpw it is.

 

The wine list was more satisfying, if slightly expensive. Gazza managed to pick 2 great wines for us...the safe bets being a South African Pinot Noir to start and an Argentine Malbec to complement the steak! Certainly not the first time this combo has been used, and it certainly won’t be the last. Wassi chose to be the Wine tof for the night and gave a long soliloquy on how the wine made him think of a nice thick rug in front of a big log fire with snow falling outside, things started getting a bit too hot at that point, so roons interrupted him and made up for ghenks shnoz by reading about the berries and winterings from the label.

 

Our service was a little shoddy, but not bad. We were served by 3 staff members and the Maitre D’. The maitre D’ was cute, our first waitress who took our orders was also cute, René was possibly her name, our next waitress who brought our wine refused to give Gazza her name, Presumably she has friends in Angel, and finally we had a male waiter serve our food. The score will be a combo of these, minus 1 or 2 for the inconvenience.

 

Value; at £52 for a steak, 2 bottles of wine, and 5 sides, its certainly not the cheapest, but fits into our price range, Andre didn’t even need to break out his pink card!

 

So despite only having 4 steak to choose from (well 3 really – 1 was a fillet) MPW does do a good steak. This we discovered 1^st at Kings road, fortunately tonight they had cuts of everything on the menu, I opted for a 10oz Rib-Eye, Medium. Now maybe it’s because he has a French sounding name, but my medium came out rare, and while I thought about sending it back, I thought I’d give the chef the benefit of the doubt and give it a try...I salted my steak (unfortunately no rock salt!), picked up the fairly boring steak knife and slid through a piece of meat with surprising ease! I raised my fork to my mouth and bit into possibly the most tender piece of Rib Eye I have ever eaten! Succulent and juicy and with quite a lot of flavour. Now maybe it would have had more flavour had it been cooked to spec, or maybe the chef knows how to cook that piece of meat... it was good! Very good, maybe even excellent...not quite as flavoursome as the rib eye at Butcher B&G, but very good, maybe even excellent.

 

Venue: 6.5

Menu: 5

Waitress: 5

Wine: 7

Value: 6

Steak: 37

 

Total: 66.5

Constancia Grill - Gary's review

A quick peek online at the Steak Club blog confirms that I’m once again the last to submit my steak club review…

A silver lining behind every cloud they say – in this case I’ve at least been able to clear my calendar for the morning after the next Steak Club to cope with the inevitable hangover from yet more late-review strafdops.

I know Andre is not the sort of guy to let set backs keep him down, but the Cattle Grid affair must have given him a few nightmares. So it took me a little by surprise that he stuck to his strategy of avoiding the well known places and selected a small, out of the way steakhouse (after intensive research consisting of checking out the restaurants along his cycle route).

Constancia is relatively small, but decorated and set up nicely enough. The Argentine feel was certainly helped by the fact that the table next to us was a family of authentic Argentineans (at least I think they were Argentinean – at the very least they were foreign so for the purposes of this review I’m just going to assume that they were from Argentina). However, it still doesn’t compare with the likes of Gaucho’s and suffers in comparison – nevertheless it was a nice, pleasant restaurant.

Why settle for for a single steak when you can have a platter? Wassie and I shared a mixed grill consisting of sirloin, rib-eye, pork sausages and black pudding with cheese on the side. And garlic. Oh yes, lots and lots of garlic (literally piles of the stuff) . The steak was good though Wassie and I made the mistake of ordering medium-rare – it doesn’t take long in the sizzling pan that the grill is served on for that to quickly become medium. But this didn’t spoil the meal and I’d definitely recommend the mixed grill over a single steak.

The waitress was pretty average. Friendly, but not the fastest or cutest we’ve ever had. Given that the place wasn’t exactly full, I would have expected her to have been a little more attentive. But at least it was a “her” and not a “him”.

Any thoughts of going out for strafdops and post-steak club drinks were put to rest when Wassie declared that he had to play nurse to his better half (suffering from swine flu) so strafdops were at Constancia. Despite my protestations, I was assigned tequila for being the last to submit a review while the others had traditional Argentine liqueurs. Luckily for me it seems tequila was probably not a bad bet with at least one of those liqueurs smelling suspiciously like lemon scented handy andy.

My scores:

Steak – 33
Venue – 6
Menu – 6
Waitress – 5
Wine – 6
Value – 7

Overall – 65

The Steak Club Map ... updated

Click on the link above for the latest list of our Steak Club Venues.


View The Steak Club Venues in a larger map

Constancia Grill - Wassie's Review

A long time ago in a Steak House far far away... well that's what it feels like as I'm finally getting to write this review. The world has changed since Steaktober on 27 October ...

- The boks have lost to Leicester, France and Saracens, and then finally won a match against Mr Mallet's mighty Italy.
- Binder has managed to find a lovely lady who has agreed to grill him a steak each night for the rest of his life
- Global warming has it Cubmria with freak floods washing away bridges that have been in place hundreds of years
- Julius Malema has cost the SA taxpayers R260,000 in VIP police protection (R300,000 per month, but only 26 days since Steaktober)

... and what does this all really mean? The answer. 3 strafdops!

Predrinks were at a lah dee da pub near London Bridge called the Barrow Boy & Banker. A quick catch up with the boys and our host Andre was out to flag down a cab. Great time for us grown up Steak Clubbers to hide around the corner until Andre came searching for the gang.

The Argentinian Grill, Constancia, was a bit off the beaten track, on Andre's cycle route. Entering, the restaurant is well presented with a modern semi casual feel. It's small to medium in size and what stands out is the actual grill. Coal/wood open file with a grill hanging over the flames that heat up the whole restaurant.

Sirloin, Fillet, Rib eye and saussage options exist. Also on the menu was Parrilladas (mixed grills). I had previously missed out on trying one so shared the "10oz prime Argentine Sirloin Steak, 11oz prime Argentine Rib-Eye Steak, two Argentine Style Pork Sausages, Black Pudding, Provolone Cheese with oregano" with Gazza (£23 per person). Roons and Andre had the same idea, leaving Binder going solo with the Sirloin. The Parrilladas came on a seering pan with hot coals from the fire underneath. We ordered medium rare, and it was cooked as expected and sizzling on the pan. Quickly though the coals had heated the meat so much that it became more and more well cooked. Can't fault restaurant here except they probably should have warned us that they put as many coals under the pan as the do and that is would quickly further cook the meat. In hindsight I would have ordered barely rare and managed the cooking myself.

I should warn you about how much the Argintineans enjoy garlic. Everything that wasn't meat was covered in it. The nasty ass strafdops did help with the garlic.

Service was a little slow at times, I think because the restaurant is in a U shape, so you I presume the staff couldn't see us always. More attention guys.

Better than most of my choices is that there were waitresses. Didn't leave an impression though, so average score.

Steak: 7/10 (x 5) = 35 (judged pre-over grilling)
Menu: 7/10
Wine: 6/10
Venue: 6/10
Waitress: 5/10
Value: 7/10
Total: 66%

Go to Constancia Grill if you're up for a good Argentinian selection and watch out for the hot pan overcooking and garlic. Long entertain us Julian Malema!

Wassie

Constancia Grill - Roon's Review

Steaktober meant that Andre finally got his opportunity to redeem
himself for 'CattleGridGate'. He could have been forgiven for taking a
safe option and I suspected he had when we gathered in London Bridge for
pre-drinks. The Banker and Barrowboy is suspiciously close to a well
known 'big name' steak establishment; but maybe Andre feared he might be
left Black and Blue if he chose the obvious cop out.

Poker faced he piled us into a cab and we headed to the less salubrious
surrounds of Tower Bridge and the Constancia Grill.

This is an Argentine restaurant that lacks the grittiness and
authenticity of it's compatriot establishments like El Gaucho and Buen
Ayre. The only bit of decor suggestive of the open pampas was a lone
Godfather-esque horse head mounted on the wall.

Apart from it's generic feel, it is still a pleasant enough space and
was fairly busy on the Tuesday night we visited.

I shared an obligatory parillada (meat platter) with our host and we
both thoroughly enjoyed the rib-eye. The coal fire beneath meant the
sirloin ended up medium rather than m-rare. Lesson learnt.

My scores are as follows:

Steak: 6.5 x 5 = 32.5
Menu: 7
Venue: 6
Waitress: 5.5
Wine: 7
Value: 7

Total: 65%

Medium rare

Roons

Constancia Argentine Grill - Binders Review

The meat sweats had barely disappeared when Andre had a date in the calendar for steaktober, and even the swine flu couldn’t stop the meat from happening. Andre showed very little fear in takingus of the beaten track after the disappointment of his previous selection. So we were to meet near London Bridge and then take a cab from there, we were almost in Bermondsey by the time we pulled up outside a fresh looking argentine steakhouse.

 

I suspect the venue will gain more character with age, but this newly completed restaurant could’ve just as easily been an Italian/French/Chinese/Greek/Spanish or any other style of restaurant. But at least it was clean and comfortable. Andre fitted in with his neat and tidy Windsor knotted Tie, as did those more comfortably dressed. The menu seemed to be your standard argentine menu, maybe they all work of the same template....although I suspect constancia might be the first argentine steakhouse vegetarian options.

 

The wine list seemed to be adequate, with enough options to choose from, but not quite as many as some of the other steak houses we have visited. Roons made 2 good choices, and the Malbec had enough of a kick to wash away the taste of garlic that seemed to emanate from the mushrooms and infuse everything else...I suspect if this had been a night when wassi had managed to drag us kicking and screaming into late night pub, the garlic would’ve been blamed for a night on the sofa.

 

Our waitress seemed to be very busy for the number of tables....often disappearing for days at a time, only to resurface after we had started banging our spoons on the table...nevertheless, she was sweet and knew where the steak came from, if nothing else.

 

She soon brought our steaks with a few sides, I was glad they had provided sharp knives, as this may be the toughest Sirloin I’ve  had in a long time. The flavour was ok. Not much else to say really, unless we enter into the discussion on how you can’t import meat on the bone, which has severe consequences for the aging process.

 

We wrapped things up with a round of don pedros – argentine style, which is basically ice-cream covered in kalua. And a few shots for the naughty boys. Wassi had his nurses outfit on and desparately wanted to get home for some fun and games, while gazza mentioned something about getting home to his housemate. Roons was worried about another night spent with Jo in the back seat of his minicab, so there was little option except to go home and dream of future newspaper fights.

 

Venue: 6

Menu: 7

Waitress: 5.5

Wine: 6.5

Value: £6.5

Steak: 30

 

Total: 61.50

 

Would I go back? If I lived next door, sure, but there are better steaks available.